“Is it wrong to gamble on your friend’s relationship? Short answer… no.”
(Long answer in 2nd paragraph)
Have you been in a relationship before? I hope so, otherwise you’re probably a loser. That’s fine too… we don’t judge, you just have to at least have friends that enter these unwritten contracts with other individuals, it’s the 2019 version of dating. As Mid-20’s guys, shit is awry and we all are along for the ride. The dating scene these days is like a sport, and where there is action… we’re laying down money. When I say gambling on relationships, I mean mainly betting on how long it will last… where can that go wrong? Obvious answer, it can’t.
Welcome to the 2nd paragraph, where you can come to your own conclusions. You must ask yourselves two questions first:
- Do you want to see your friends in a happy relationship?
- Do you want to make money?
If you answered yes to one or both of these questions, IT’S TIME TO START GAMBLING ON YOUR FRIEND’S FUTURES. If you answered no to both questions then your’e either a huge dick or you’re already loaded, which are both acceptable reasons.
Let’s break down why this is such a good and natural idea. In our world, this is the epitome of enjoyment… we like to place monetary value on things that have nothing to do with us. If the Philadelphia Flyers can win by 2 or more goals, then I want to be rewarded, and if not then I want to lose $300, it’s simple. Another thing to wager on would be how many times the random dude at the bar will throw referee signals on beer pong night:
(One of our friends took this video… he may be writing for us soon)https://www.youtube.com/embed/3c0pHJFfnxI?wmode=opaque&enablejsapi=1
Safe to say that the beer pong ref hit the over. And then there is the obvious length of relationship Over/Under (Usually 6 months). It’s our job to turn life into a drunk gamble. As I said, dating these days is a sport. You must first look at each player’s records. Do they have a history of cheating? How long have their previous relationships lasted? These are a few examples of how to choose where you want to place your money. Every situation is very different. You don’t have to take the “length of relationship o/u”, you can also place money on the first disclosed fight. This one is tough because a person may never talk about personal relationship details with their friends, in which case you would want to throw your bankroll on the over.
This is just a harmless wager. Per question 1 in paragraph two, I’d hope we all like to see our friends in happy relationships. Having said that, if the under makes sense… you best believe it’s getting more hammered than a hooker on a construction sight with an open bar. Since it has just been declared as a harmless wager, the people in the relationship (being wagered on) have no right to be mad if they were to find out. It doesn’t speak to what is happening between them, as noted… we are betting on things that have nothing to do with us. Hypothetically, if people involved were to get angry that people are betting on the length of their term, then it is great for the under and it may be time to double down. I’ve even placed money on my own relationships and obviously hit, we ironically broke up the day before the under expired! If that is not the definition of romance, I’m not sure what is.
Since you are on our site, it is our job to not only entertain you, but also bring meaning to your own worthless life. One reason to get out of bed is to see if people you care about can stay with someone for longer than a pre-determined amount of time. At the end of the day (if/when there is a break up) some of us are winners, and some are losers. The good news is you have a new stat to reference the next time they find a significant other. The only way to win is to keep betting!