I was at Dunkin’ Donuts before work… grabbing the usual bagel, coffee and donut. The first two items are for fuel, while the third is to fend off that mid-work day hunger. One of my favorite features of restaurants these days is the take out option… especially at shitholes like this, nothing more embarrassing than being spotted at a wench spot like DD… it’s like going to the strip club and seeing your old classmate on the pole, just sad and embarrassing. But best believe I’m gonna show them that class of 2013 love and make it rain filthy one dollar bills on her subpar performance.
Side note: If there were such thing as a takeout strip club, it would really save our stripper friends a lot of lost dignity.
Here’s the thing though, if you’re at a filthy strip club or the breakfast place equivalent… all self worth has gone out the window. Scarfing down a dripping wet sausage egg and cheese croissant (always dipped in a vat of oil for some reason) and sucking down New Delhi caffeine mud is always a low point in my day. It’s no different than attending the local strip club and seeing your topless classmate walk around on all fours, wearing a leash and begging for her bone.
Somehow, someway, a lady in front of me in line has found a way to embarrass herself even more than just being a DD customer. She ordered her Dunkin lineup.. breakfast wrap, bagel, donut, and a coffee. What happened next is mind blowing… she plopped 3 takeout containers and her own paper coffee mug on the counter and said “Can you put everything in these… I’m becoming zero waste”
Hate to break it to you lady… you’re 100% waste, you’re a waste of life.
She genuinely thinks that since she walked instead of driving, and brought her own containers, that the environment is saved.
Newsflash: the bags for your filthy meal and styrofoam for your coffee have already been manufactured, in fact you are creating more waste by bringing outside packaging if we’re gonna play by your theory. These places auto-order their containers and throw away the old ones that go out of style. It’s the same thing as people who are vegetarian because they don’t like that the animals get murdered, well too fucking bad Tofurkey people… the animals are murdered and sold anyway, and if they expire, the old meat is thrown away and a new dead turkey is put in it’s place regardless. This would be like quitting watching porn because the actors aren’t in love… these actresses will continue to get premarital cum in their eyes regardless of whether or not you tune in.
This lady should have focused on becoming “Zero Waist” and lay off the fast food altogether. She was fat and dumb… as you can tell it was really a rough start to the workweek for me. The moral of this story is waste everything you can and move on, because at the end of the day, who gives a fuck if Dunkin’ Donuts has an extra 3 bags on top of the 3,000 stocked in the back.