Memo to all gambling addicts

Some things are just more fun to gamble on than others

Let me just say this gambling isn’t for the faint of heart especially if you’re like me and you lose everything you touch. No matter what you gamble on, I respect it. Not everyone is like me and is addicted to gambling on everything. I gamble on sports, table games, scratch offs, or if the chick I’m about to fuck has an std or not, it’s just what I do. That being said, there are some gambling addictions that are better than others, this isn’t based off of winning and losing. It’s based off the entertainment factor of it. 

    Hands down the best thing to gamble on is always sex related. I for one hate wearing condoms… they’re actual trash. With the poor life decisions I make, condoms should almost always be used, but I like the thrill of gambling on the most important thing (in most peoples lives) … creating life. The thrill of trying to time your pull out is almost more exhilarating than the sex itself. Top to bottom, sex is the best gambling addiction. Have I been choking her for to long? Is that a cold sore? Did I pull out last night? These are the things that get the people going. 

       So aside from that sports is the most entertaining to gamble on. You get to throw some cash down and watch a game. It will make that late night game between Hawaii and BYU to the next level because you need point and you need to win back what you spent all day losing. There is nothing better than knowing you’re going to bet every game on that day and just watch sports. You know that you have to have a tv in front of you at all time so you even put one in the bathroom. I can’t think of another form of gambling that requires this much attention and produces such a swing in emotion. That feeling you get when the puck hit the post on an empty netter that you needed  to cover that puck line… “sick… what’s the next game on”? And around and around it goes.

      Now we start to get into some of the table games roulette… great stuff. We watch a ball spin around a wheel then watch some lady sweep a board clear of over a grab worth of chips that hit a number only little ol’ Muriel hit with half a chip on it. Good for her right. Other games like black jack and casino war are nice for a little double up maybe you hit a match the dealer but they can’t hold a candle to the feeling of betting sports.

     This is where I start to question some peoples gambling addictions. Things like scratch offs are a nice Christmas present for that guy in the office who’s birthday it is and you need a last minute gift hit your local convince store and grab a couple of those suckers for Todd in accounting. But to be addicted to them as your only thing you gamble on is ridiculous to me. I used to work at a 7eleven and that always blew my mind that people would drop a couple hundred a day but when I asked them who they like in the game that night they’d tell me they don’t bet on sports… diversify your portfolio Nancy get it together.

       Lastly we get the people who just crank that lever. They’re drawn in to the lights like moths to a flame it’s crazy. I understand that they look cool and they say you can hit that jackpot but I’ve hit jackpots before for a minor amount of money. They suck! That’s always my last ditch effort on the way out of the casino just throw what I’ve managed to scamper out of there with in the first machine I see and just make sure they take every last cent I have. It no doubt the worst thing to make your addiction. If you want to go watch a wheel spin around hit roulette. Your not a child go play a real game. Slots are barley gambling.

       I want to make it very clear I don’t discourage anyone from gambling. Go bet on how long your friends relationships will be, bet on your local high school football game, fuck even bet on who the first one of your friends will be to die, bet it all. But for the love of god don’t make you’re gambling addiction revolve around slot machines that’s just stupid. Now my fellow gamblers go out there and fade me